......And now on to Silly Saturdays!!!
Top 10 Things NOT to say when asked "What?! No school today?"
10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.
9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!
8. No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.
7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my gosh! I thought I told you kids to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)
6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have seen more kids out then, don't you?
5. We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!
4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)
3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday...come on kids, hurry!
2. Noooooope.Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!
And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: "What? No school today?"
1. "What? No Bingo today?"
Funny Kid Pics (Not mine)
You know you're a mom when...
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You child throws up, and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.
You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.
You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I enjoyed that! Thanks!
ReplyDelete