I thought this was hilarious!!!!
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Silly Saturday's
So first on the serious note: I have been super busy this month and have seriously neglected my blog, so a SUPER sorry to all my readers and also to those new followers whom I am NOW finally following back. So for now until things settle back down around here (hopefully the hubby finds a job so I can be home again!!), I will only be blogging on the weekends, but I hope to have time to do some blogs post to schedule to be posted during the week (no promise though).
......And now on to Silly Saturdays!!!
Top 10 Things NOT to say when asked "What?! No school today?"
10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.
9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!
8. No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.
7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my gosh! I thought I told you kids to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)
6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have seen more kids out then, don't you?
5. We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!
4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)
3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday...come on kids, hurry!
2. Noooooope.Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!
And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: "What? No school today?"
1. "What? No Bingo today?"
Funny Kid Pics (Not mine)


You know you're a mom when...
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You child throws up, and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.
You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.
You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...
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......And now on to Silly Saturdays!!!
Top 10 Things NOT to say when asked "What?! No school today?"
10. Well normally yes, but this time of year I need help with the planting and plowing.
9. Goodness, no!!! I graduated 18 years ago, but thanks for the compliment!
8. No, we homeschool. We're just out to pick up a bag of pork rinds and some Mountain Dew, then we gotta hurry home to catch our soaps.
7. What?! Where did you guys come from?! Oh my gosh! I thought I told you kids to stay at school! I'm sorry. This happens all the time. (sigh)
6. There isn't? Why, you'd think we would have seen more kids out then, don't you?
5. We're on a field trip studying human nature's intrusive and assumptive tactics of displaying ignorance and implied superiority. Thanks for the peek!
4. On our planet we have different methods of education. (Shhh! No, I didn't give it away... keep your antennae down!)
3. Oh my goodness! I thought that today was Saturday...come on kids, hurry!
2. Noooooope.Me 'n Bubba jes' learns 'em at home. Werks reel good!
And the number one answer we should NEVER give to the question: "What? No school today?"
1. "What? No Bingo today?"
Funny Kid Pics (Not mine)
You know you're a mom when...
You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're equal.
You want to take out a contract on the kid who broke your child's favorite toy and made him/her cry.
You have time to shave only one leg at a time.
You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
You child throws up, and you catch it.
Someone else's kid throws up at a party, and you keep eating.
You consider finger paint to be a controlled substance.
You mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate without anything touching.
Your child insists that you read Once Upon a Potty out loud in the lobby of the doctor's office, or, better yet, in the lobby of a Grand Central Station... and you do it.
You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night talking about and checking on the kids.
You hope ketchup is a vegetable because it's the only one your child eats.
You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons, while your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.
You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
You hate the thought of his wife even more.
You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into unusual shapes.
You fast-forward through the scene when the hunter shoots Bambi's mother.
You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
You obsess when your child clings to you upon parting during his first month at school, then obsess when he skips in without looking back the second time.
You can't bear to give away baby clothes -- it's so final.
You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "Not in your good clothes!"
You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
You read that the average five year old asks 437 questions a day and feel proud that your kid is above average.
You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you wouldn't trade it for anything in the world...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Friday, March 18, 2011
Conversation With My Three Year Old
Here is a conversation I had with my three year old while he was outside playing, It was soo funny, I thought I would share.
Crazy Man-Look a rooster in the tree!!!
Me-/A rooster?
Crazy Man- Yes! A rooster, in the tree.
I see nothing in the tree, but do hear some kind of bird from that general direction.
Me- You mean a bird? Do you see a bird in the tree?
Crazy Man- Nooo, not a bird, a rooster! A rooster, rooster from the Naked Center (by this he means Nature Center cute huh!?!)
Me- Oooohhh, you mean an Owl. Like the one in the cage at the Nature Center? (Our local Nature Center has a rescued owl with one eye)
Crazy Man- Yeesss a Owl!! Look, in the tree, a owl rooster.
Me- *Face in palm* Cool, I must have missed it.
Crazy Man-Look a rooster in the tree!!!
Me-/A rooster?
Crazy Man- Yes! A rooster, in the tree.
I see nothing in the tree, but do hear some kind of bird from that general direction.
Me- You mean a bird? Do you see a bird in the tree?
Crazy Man- Nooo, not a bird, a rooster! A rooster, rooster from the Naked Center (by this he means Nature Center cute huh!?!)
Me- Oooohhh, you mean an Owl. Like the one in the cage at the Nature Center? (Our local Nature Center has a rescued owl with one eye)
Crazy Man- Yeesss a Owl!! Look, in the tree, a owl rooster.
Me- *Face in palm* Cool, I must have missed it.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Have you ever forgot to Pee?
Seriously!?! With our crazy morning routine and me getting distracted every 5 minutes, I realized it was 1:00 before I had time to use the bathroom. I get up, feed the baby, fix breakfast, clean up, get Diva Queens school work started, entertain Crazy Man, help Diva Queen with new stuff, and then fix lunch, I realized it was nap time and I haven't peed all morning!!! I literaly was about to wet myself. Yes I am sure you are a loving to hear about this, but the point is, that we get so wrapped up in our children's needs, that we sometimes tend to forget our own. I keep telling myself that I am going to get up an hour earlier so that I can have some morning me time, but I am sooo NOT a morning person, and getting up any earlier than I have to is truly torture. So all of you morning people, HOW DO YOU DO IT???, and to those like me and 8am is still to early, what do you do to keep sane when you have no free moments?
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Silly 'Saturday
He actually had half of that foot in his mouth!! Course as always with photographing the kids, he removed it just as I snapped.
Funny Quotes:
"My mother had morning sickness after I was born."
— Rodney Dangerfield
"I want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them."
— Phyllis Diller
"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"
— Milton Berle
"I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, 'Steven, time to go to sleep.' I said, 'But I don't know how.' She said, 'It's real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left.' So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said 'I thought I told you to go to sleep.'"
— Steven Wright
"It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder, and violence every single day should be avoided entirely. But the desire to beget children is a natural urge."
— Phyllis Diller
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Saturday, September 18, 2010
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